


Yeah... He Needed A Good Slap

by OvereducatedAndOverworked



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton is an idiot, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eliza Schuyler is just plain Awesome, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, George Washington is a Dad, Hamilton Gift Exchange 2k16, Minor Alexander Hamilton/Maria Reynolds, Reynolds Pamphlet AU, The Reynolds Pamphlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8917684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OvereducatedAndOverworked/pseuds/OvereducatedAndOverworked
Summary: What if, instead of immediately giving into temptation, Alexander Hamilton WASN'T an idiot and went to the only person who could talk some sense into him?No, not Angelica.  The other person.George Washington.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liberte_Egalite_Broadway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liberte_Egalite_Broadway/gifts).



> This takes place around the end of July 1791, so Philip is still alive (and fairly young), George Washington is president, and while Alexander isn't a huge fan of Burr (as he took his father-in-law's seat in parliament a few months prior), Burr is not yet furious at Alexander.
> 
> Oh, and to note: $30 in 1791 is about $700 in 2016 money, because inflation is totally a thing. So it's not a ton, but it isn't chump change, either.
> 
> And finally, The_Kawaii_Hobbit, I thank you for letting me participate in this exchange, and hope you enjoy this!

Alexander Hamilton nervously shuffled to Washington’s office, and hesitantly tapped on the door.  “Come in,” he heard the man say absently, and slowly scuffled into his room, sitting in the waiting chair across the desk from the president.

“Hamilton,” Washington said with casual authority, “how is your financial system coming?”

Hamilton gulped anxiously, and cautiously replied, “It’s going well, sir, but that’s not what I came to you about.”

Washington looked up from his paperwork for the first time since he had walked into the room, and immediately noticed Hamilton’s hesitance.  His palms were obviously sweating, clear from his nervously wiping them on his suit every few seconds, and his Adam’s apple was bobbing.  “Then what _is_ it you came about?”  He asked, suspicion lacing his tone.  Gone was the president, and in his place was the general, cunning and on edge, looking for the trick.

Hamilton slumped in his chair a bit lower, and said, “Well, sir, it’s a bit of a personal matter.  My wife is out of town, and I wished to discuss it with you.”

“Oh,” Washington loosened his posture and his look softened.  “What is this about, then?”

“Well, you see sir, I believe I’m about to have an affair.”

Washington froze for a moment, and then slowly asked, “Pardon me?”

“Well, sir, you see, it all started yesterday,” Hamilton explained.  “A young woman appeared on my doorstep yesterday afternoon, asking for legal representation and a loan of thirty dollars.”

“Thirty dollars?” Washington repeated incredulously.  “You don’t have that kind of money to give away.”

Hamilton drew thirty dollars in bills from his pocket and smacked them onto the tabletop.  “Apparently, I do.”

“Hamilton, you really shouldn’t carry that kind of money around with you, even in this part of the city,” Washington advised.

“Well sir, you see, I’ve been carrying it since yesterday,” Hamilton continued hurriedly.  “You see, the beautiful—and she really was beautiful, sir, you should have seen her, long blonde hair and blue eyes—woman said that she was in an abusive marriage, and that her husband had abandoned her for another woman, leaving her without a cent to live on and without a single acquaintance in the city.”

“So the woman was in a difficult way,” Washington summarized, still looking unconvinced.

“Indeed,” Hamilton agreed, “and she said she needed the money in order to return to her family in New York.”

“So far this seems quite reasonable, if overly generous,” Washington observed.  “Why do you believe you’re in danger of starting an affair with this woman?”

“Well, I promised to visit the woman that evening at her lodgings, and she wrote down her name and address.”  Hamilton pulled a slip of paper from the same pocket and slid it over to Washington, who saw a nearby address in the city and the name ‘Mrs. Maria Reynolds’ written on it in feminine script.  “When I arrived at her residence, just a block away from my own, she led me upstairs into her bedroom, and when I was about to give her the money, she began discussing other methods of payment and stripped to her chemise.”

Washington gasped, a sound Hamilton was unaccustomed to hearing from the typically-unflappable leader, and then sternly asked, “Hamilton, what did you do?”

“I ran,” Hamilton simply replied, “as fast as I could.  I knew if I remained there any longer, I would likely give into temptation.  But now, sir, I’m in a bit of a dilemma: I promised I would give her the money, but I don’t dare return to her home.  What should I do?”

Washington drew a deep breath, and then gently declared, “I will handle it myself.  There’s no reason why you should risk your family and reputation on such a simple chore.  I will have one of my aids deliver the money for you, as you will be gone.”

He stood, and Hamilton followed him in the motion, asking, “Sir?”

“Hamilton,” Washington proclaimed, a smirk playing on his face, “I am ordering you to take a vacation.” He put a hand on the man’s back, and slowly pushed him towards the door.

“Well, sir, you see,” Hamilton stuttered, “I don’t think that’s the best idea at the current time—”

“Alexander,” Washington said seriously, “As your commander, I order you to spend four weeks with your family, and sort this whole mess out.”  He gently pushed the man out of his office, and added, “After all, you have quite a bit of apologizing to Elizabeth to do.”  He waited for Hamilton to walk out of the building, and after a few minutes, wrote a short cease and desist letter to Ms. Reynolds, included the money, and sent it on its way.

* * *

Four days later, Hamilton found himself pulling up to his father-in-law’s home in Albany.  It had taken him mere hours to pack up, and by nightfall, he had taken his leave and was in his carriage, urging his coachmen to go as fast as possible to make it to New York.  It was a long, wearisome journey, and he’d taken to sleeping for a few scant hours in rooms above taverns to make it there as fast as he could.  He understood now why his Betty had taken to making it a week-long trip, staying at their friends’ homes along the way.

He sighed as he saw his father-in-law’s home, the grand windows and brick bringing back memories of his wedding.  It had been so long!  And now, what was he to say?  He’d been trying to form the words to explain what he did with Mrs. Reynolds for the entirety of his journey, but they just wouldn’t come.

He saw his wife through the window, as she drew back the curtain to see what the commotion was outside, and saw her eyes light up upon seeing his figure.  Her smile lit up her entire face, and he could have sworn her blonde hair glowed in the afternoon sunshine.  God, what was he thinking?  What had he almost given up?

He hesitantly stepped out of the carriage and walked to the front door, and was nearly dog-piled by his family.  They dragged him inside, all talking over each other until he could hardly tell one voice from the next.  Angelica eagerly asked him questions about politics as his four beautiful children tackled him, hugging him and making up for the five weeks they had been separated.  After a few minutes, Eliza called off the attack and declared that she wished to speak with her husband, looking significantly at both Angelica and himself.  Angelica, in her infinite wisdom, declared that she was taking the four outside for a walk, and Eliza spared no time in practically dragging him to their bedroom.

“Alexander,” Eliza said breathlessly, after kissing him nearly senseless, “I have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, my lovely Betty,” Alexander said, “But I’m afraid I must tell you something.”

Eliza pulled away from him, sitting on their bed and looking into his eyes.  He could practically see the confusion and worry fighting for dominance within her, before strength won out.  “What is it?  Did Jefferson call for your removal?  A fever run through Philadelphia?  Whatever it is, we can handle it together.”

Alexander couldn’t help but admire the woman he married.  Why did he ever think that he needed someone else?  He internally panicked for a moment, searching desperately for the right words, before blurting out, “I nearly had an affair with a woman five days ago.”

Eliza was silent for a moment, seemingly shell-shocked, before raising her hand and slapping her husband in the face.  Alexander’s face radiated in pain, and he saw anger flash across his wife’s countenance before she coolly, calmly said, “Continue.”

“I didn’t do anything,” he insisted, his speech speeding up.  “A woman came to the house wanting money and legal advice, and asked me to come to her house.  When I arrived, she lead me to her bedroom and started removing her clothing, and I left.  I **_left_** , Eliza.  I didn’t do anything, I swear!”

Alexander caught his breath as Eliza gazed deeply into his eyes, giving him a considering look.  After almost sixty seconds of silence, during which Alexander considered running out of the house and back to Pennsylvania, she slowly took his hand and laid a kiss upon his lips.

“I believe you,” she whispered, and all he could do is smile.

After he had spent a bit _properly_ greeting his wife, he explained the whole story.  She was shocked by the boldness of the woman, and verbally expressed her gratefulness that she had such a strong-willed husband.

“Well, you see…” Alexander stammered, “I actually went to Washington.  He said that he would handle it, and gave me a month off to go spend with you and the children.”

Eliza nodded quietly, and then broke into a huge grin.  “I should have known,” she said, leading him from their bedroom towards the dining room, where he could hear Angelica and his children’s laughter.  “He always was the one to keep you in line.  I really couldn’t ask for a better father-in-law.”

Before Alexander could protest, she pulled on his shirt, and whispered in his ear, “Oh, and you’re the one who’s telling Angelica about this.”  She then let go, smoothed her clothing, and gracefully walked into the dining room.  Alexander could only stare after her with a horrified expression. 

And he had thought that Washington was frightening.

**Author's Note:**

> And... it all ends happily ever after? I mean, this way, Philip survives, Hamilton can still potentially run for president (which means he probably will), and odds are it comes down to him and Thomas. Who knows who wins, but at least Burr can't be TOO mad at him! Which means that he'll still be alive. So hey, that's closer to a happily-ever-after than life, at least. *sobs*
> 
> Oh. And eleven months after this story, John Church Hamilton is born.


End file.
